13 April 2013 saw the rolling concert of MTV Africa All Stars make its way to the beautiful city of Lagos, Nigeria. A platform for the display of pan-African music, and youth empowerment, it brings to life a celebration of the best in contemporary African musicians and provides exposure to the continent’s hottest musical innovators and pacesetters.
Blah, blah, blah…here’s the juicy part. The show rolled into Lagos at the Federal Palace Hotels and Casinos, V.I Lagos, and representing Nigeria were 3 of our finest musicians: 2face Idibia, Ice Prince and Davido. Turntable duties were shouldered by DJ Jimmy Jatt, DJ Caise, and DJ Sose. All the artistes did their thing, thrilling the crowd and making the world a little brighter with their presence. As usual, www.pulse.com.ng was there present, casting a sharp eye on the proceedings. We found nothing of note except…
1. Davido Wearing Used Boxers
Used boxers are nice and comfy, hugging your little john with a familiar grip and making life down there feel so much easy, but not when you’re a star. It comes with the job. Stars are expected to make a ton of money, have a long line of ever-happy girlfriends (and baby mamas), and also change their wardrobe like they own a clothing industry, which some actually do (Agbani, that’s for you).
That said, it’s an unwritten rule that the stars are NEVER to repeat a clothing item, even underwear. Never underwear. So the world was not a little stunned when Omo Baba Olowo, Davido, took to the stage spotting a boxer short that actually had a faded hue of blue, betraying many years of dedicated service to the man, Davido. It really cracked us all up and sent a huge tidal wave of good feeling flooding the atmosphere and actually entertaining all present. Ever wondered why he got the best response? Look no further, his music set the tempo, but his entertaining faded boxers sealed the deal. Big ups man.
2. Dammy Krane’s Sexy Display:
2face came on stage to a rapturous display of affection, with the girls screaming out tears of intense affection, and the guys showing a rare case of understanding, and yelling alongside their star-struck girlfriends. Pretty powerful stuff. But during his stage time, 2face, accommodating large-hearted dude that he is, called on 2 young hotheaded musicians to share in his finest moment, and have a priviledged taste of what it feels like to be 2face. The artistes given the nod were bespectacled Rock Steady, and the hot irrestible Dammy Krane. He’s sexy, and he knows it, so he turned on the fireworks, displaying teasing dance moves that need only be revealed in the bedroom. And how it worked! The hormonal level of the ladies sky-rocketed, and they kept salivating, wanting a piece of sweet hot Dammy Sugar-Krane. But just before they could erupt and storm the stage with their love, Dammy kissed the air goodbye, and stepped away. Badluck for the girls, but awesome luck for me. Why? Because without Dammy Krane to finish what he started, the next available option for the ladies became me. You here that? ME! Thanks Dammy, the association of lucky males are grateful for your good selfless service.
Professor Giving Us A Taste Of South African Magic.
Never before in my life have I heard the name of an artiste being Professor. So my curiosity was piqued when I saw the name during the promotional adverts for the concert. And I wasn’t entirely disappointed when the Prof. made an appearance. He looked the part, a stereotype African Professor. He was calm, accented, and had a trademark. That being a pot-belly. So we kept up our watch with measured interest, patiently waiting to get bored by ‘academic’ music. But when the stranger was given stage time, he appeared with a war beret on! Then it slowly dawned on us that this was no ordinary professor. He looked like a cross between the late Chinua Achebe, and Idi Amin of Uganda. And his songs, they were so strange, so fresh, and so…hypnotic. We didn’t want to dance, but our bodies took on a life of its own and swayed to his melody. It was Magical! Nice one Professor, we don’t know what you did to us, but whatever it was, keep it alive, because if it worked in Naija, hard, tough Nigeria, then it will work anywhere in the world. Trust me on this one.
Karen Igho’s Boopsie’s
Questionable statistics say that Nigeria has one of the highest traffic of foreign visitors in Africa. Even though business basically attracts these foreign nationals, pleasure also plays a role in their willingness to jump out of their countries for a run-out in our tropical heaven (tongue in cheek).
Apart from the beautiful Calabar, one other leading tourist attraction is the beautiful women of our dear country. With their intelligent pretty heads, ample busts and classic high rounded butts, why wouldn’t the world fall all over for a trip to Nigeria.
And we thought we had a lot on display at the concert until Karen Igho sauntered, no, catwalked in. She was the epitome of Nigerian sexuality and quite a few guys could be seen affording themselves secret second and third glances at her bust. And how did she react? Graciously. Been there, done that. She kept unleashing various pictures poses, arching her slender frame, and increasing the temperature of the show by priceless percent. She did turn us on. Literally.
So congrats MTV, see you next year. But just be sure to bring back the best of the rest to our renowned shores. Thank you and…
That was all we saw.
Courtesy of www.pulse.com
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